This week I've doubted and, perhaps, I may still be doubting some things.
I've doubted my faith. I've doubted friendships. I've doubted my purpose now as a college student. I've doubted my ability to lead a newspaper staff. I've doubted God's goodness.
But as I doubt, I'm learning, too.
God has not shown his wrath because I've doubted. Rather, he's used my doubts to teach me more intimately what faith really is. The One for whom I try to live my life has never been seen by these two eyes. I've never touched him. I've never looked him in the eye. I've never shook his hand. Yet he is the essence of this life.
And I've realized just how crazy faith is. When we can see things, we often know what's coming next. But in this case, faith - living not by sight - makes us wholly dependent on God to find our way.
Isaiah 30:21 comes to mind, "Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it'..."
I'm clinging to this as I keep walking ahead.
We may not be able to see God, but being stripped of our sight does not mean being stripped of our hearing or our sense of touch or taste or smell.
Maybe that's why the Psalmist writes of tasting the Lord's goodness:
I've doubted my faith. I've doubted friendships. I've doubted my purpose now as a college student. I've doubted my ability to lead a newspaper staff. I've doubted God's goodness.
But as I doubt, I'm learning, too.
God has not shown his wrath because I've doubted. Rather, he's used my doubts to teach me more intimately what faith really is. The One for whom I try to live my life has never been seen by these two eyes. I've never touched him. I've never looked him in the eye. I've never shook his hand. Yet he is the essence of this life.
And I've realized just how crazy faith is. When we can see things, we often know what's coming next. But in this case, faith - living not by sight - makes us wholly dependent on God to find our way.
Isaiah 30:21 comes to mind, "Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it'..."
I'm clinging to this as I keep walking ahead.
We may not be able to see God, but being stripped of our sight does not mean being stripped of our hearing or our sense of touch or taste or smell.
Maybe that's why the Psalmist writes of tasting the Lord's goodness:
Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
(Psalm 34:8, NKJV)
And I'm trusting. I'm trusting him to equip me, teach me, and guide me. I'm trusting him to give me wisdom, time and knowledge.
Already, he's molding my doubts into confident humility - placing friends around me when I need them most, exceeding my expectations of what others can do. He's given me laughter and listeners when doubting turns to confusion. He's used others to encourage me when I haven't seen his goodness.
We may not see God, and we may doubt him and others much too often, but I don't think it takes God by surprise when we question him. He takes what we are not seeing (or cannot see) and turns it into something we'll taste or hear so that we may still know his goodness. I'm trusting in his goodness tonight.
No doubt is too big for God to turn into something that brings glory to his name.
-AD
Already, he's molding my doubts into confident humility - placing friends around me when I need them most, exceeding my expectations of what others can do. He's given me laughter and listeners when doubting turns to confusion. He's used others to encourage me when I haven't seen his goodness.
We may not see God, and we may doubt him and others much too often, but I don't think it takes God by surprise when we question him. He takes what we are not seeing (or cannot see) and turns it into something we'll taste or hear so that we may still know his goodness. I'm trusting in his goodness tonight.
No doubt is too big for God to turn into something that brings glory to his name.
-AD